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What's Your Question About Nursing Homes?
By Kathy Gannoe - December, 2008
Question:
My uncle’s in a nursing home and I’m unsure about a good gift for him? He is very frail and stays in his room most of the time. Any suggestions?
Answer:
Give him something he can use in his room. Does he like to read or listen to music? Try a CD player with books or music CDs. Just make sure the player is easy to use. (Don’t forget to write his name on anything you get him, using large print and permanent marker.) DVD players have really come down in price. There is quite a selection available at less than $100. That might make a good gift if he likes movies. With earphones he could watch whenever/whatever he wants without disturbing anyone else. Public libraries have both CDs and DVDs which can be checked out, most free but others with a small charge. What about a pretty lamp to brighten up his room? You can adapt any lamp to be “touch-sensitive” by screwing in an adapter available at hardware stores. This kind of lamp is easy and quick to turn on, especially during the night. More ideas: magazine subscriptions, framed photos, pictures, or art, especially art created by children he cares about. You could create a photo album or scrapbook that would bring back fond memories. Try labeling the photos with names, places and dates, or instead, you could leave them blank and spend time with him, helping him remember and label the photos. Some folks really enjoy watching birds and a bird feeder outside of his window would be nice. You’ll have to be able to keep it filled for it to be any good. You might want to ask him what he wants. There may be something he’d enjoy or something which would make his life more pleasant.
Question:
My mom is in an assisted living facility. She is very active and social. Any gift ideas for her?
Answer:
Since she is a social butterfly, get her a deck of cards, or a game like Scrabble which she can play with friends. If vision is an issue, buy cards and games that come in large or enhanced versions. If she uses a walker, you might consider a walker-tote, which attaches to a walker using velcro. These are perfect for the person on the go. You can find them at drug stores and medical supply stores. Tickets to a movie or play would be nice. Give them to her in twos and then she can take a friend. Remember to check and see if transportation is an issue. Look at the previous answer; she might enjoy any of the items mentioned there.
Question:
My friend enjoys sending cards but she has a hard time remembering dates. How can I help her?
Answer:
How thoughtful of you! Why not give her a large print calendar and help her fill in those special dates. You could buy a box of all occasion cards and include a book of stamps. You could even address and stamp some cards for her. I’ve seen scrapbooks made of cards which people have received. This is nice to look at and it can bring back happy memories.
Question:
Would bed sheets be a good gift?
Answer:
You would need to check with the facility, as most provide these. If it is okay, you might consider some soft T-shirts or flannel sheets. If bed sheets aren’t okay, how about a warm, pretty throw or a pillow sham to match a bed cover?
Question:
Dad would like to come home for the holiday. Will the nursing home let him come?
Answer:
Your Dad is not a prisoner; he can come and go as he is able. If he uses the Medicaid program, he is allowed to be gone from the facility a total of ten days each year for purely social reasons. (The Medicaid program calls this “therapeutic leave.”) You should talk with the nursing staff at least two to three days in advance of the outing so they can prepare for it. This means packaging needed medication, bagging up incontinent supplies, writing down special food preparation instructions and anything else you might need to do. Ask the staff to give you instructions in writing. You can always call back and ask the nurse caring for your Dad if you run into trouble. You want his stay at home to be fun for him and for everyone else. Knowing that he feels better if he takes a nap at 2:00 p.m. might just be what’s needed to make him have an enjoyable time. If there is a medical emergency while he’s home, call 911 as you would for anyone else and then alert the nursing staff at the facility. If he just gets too tired and wants to go home, respect his wishes. Going home to be with family will probably be the best gift your Dad could have this season. With a little planning and a lot of love, it should go just great.
This column is presented as a public service of the Nursing Home Ombudsman Agency of the Bluegrass. If you have a question, send it to:
Kathy Gannoe
Nursing Home Ombudsman Agency
1530 Nicholasville Rd.
Lexington, KY, 40503